The humorous marriage of speech and manners

I know every parent has these kind of days, and, frankly, I am on the fence.

I LOVE when things like this happen, but at the same time, I wish I could be the fly on the wall observing them and laughing hysterically vs the blushing parent taking responsibility for the faux paux.

A little background: My daughter experiences Autism and with that diagnosis comes significant speech and social delays. We are in therapy 4 out of 5 days a week to learn skills necessary to be functional.

That being said, my daughter is academically smart and has a great memory. However, applying the information that is stored in her amazing brain, in an appropriate way, is a constant struggle for her.

In addition to speech, she also has difficulty understanding emotions. She "practices" emotions in the mirror.

Yesterday, I caught her making herself cry to the point that I was really seriously concerned. I kept asking her "Why are you crying?" (Of course I know my daughter can't answer "why" questions yet, but what is a mama to do?). After a while, she wiped her face and said "It's ok, my sads are gone" ....soooo... was she just "experimenting" with an emotion she has seen but doesn't quite understand???

Figuring out my child and solving the puzzle has become my life's work. There are days it can be mentally exhausting and then there are days where the mystery brings me so much joy!!

This past week has been a fun and joyful week... I'll share a few of the scenarios that made it so.

A few nights ago we were at an establishment waiting to pay for our purchases. A gentlemen wearing a hat and walking with his friend approached the register.

Kylie said (in a 5 year old version of an indoor voice--aka: LOUD) "Dad! There's a cowboy!!"

Dan and I exchanged a nervous glance and looked at the man to see how he would respond to that declaration. A small smile was birthed on his lips telling us he somewhat enjoyed the attention (his friend was laughing out loud).

So, my husband played along and said "Kylie what do cowboys say?" and Kylie, stepping into her best "Jessie" from Toy Story 2 role exclaimed "Yee Haw!!!" (again in that lovely "indoor voice" that we are working on)

My husband and I smiled mischievously to each other and the man's smile spread from his lips to his eyes.

Kylie then surprised us all by asking "Where's his horse?" (by now, the man's friend is doubled over in laughter - evidently he has told his friend that his appearance is rather "cowboyish" and this little 5 year old totally authenticated it)

As our child waited for an explanation as to the horse's obvious absence, Dan and I quickly spun some dramatic, but equally believeable, yarn about how we were sure the cowboy left his horse at home in the cozy warm barn. Then we quickly spun her on her spurs and headed for the door.

Our cheeks were just a shade of flaming red, but we laughed for hours about that encounter and how our 5 year old's mind created such a scenario (somewhat appropriately too).

Yes, we are stepping up the etiquette training.

How I wish this were the end... but then we have yesterday's event...

A little back story: Kylie is very familiar and comfortable with individuals from other countries and cultures as my husband and I work with international students at our local university. On a daily basis, our paths will cross with Malaysians, Chinese, Indian, African, Canadian, South American, Middle Eastern and other diverse cultures.

Yesterday, we took Kylie to her bi-annual endocrine doctor's appointment. The nurse who greeted us was of Asian heritage (though I don't know what country).

Kylie got along with our nurse very well and even though her command of the English language was a bit rough, Kylie had no issues and allowed the nurse to weigh her, measure her height, take her temp and obtain her blood pressure. (things that, on many occasions, American nurses are not able to obtain from our girl)

At the end of our appointment, Dan and I were at the checkout desk setting up our next appointment when our nurse walked past us down the hall. To my horror, Kylie shouted after our nurse in an attempt to gain her attention "Hey China! Hey China!"

I spend much of my life educating Americans on what is appropriate vs inappropriate behavior to use when connecting with Internationals and here my daughter is SHOUTING "Hey China!!"

Thank goodness our nurse (mercifully) did not hear Kylie's bellows. However, when I turned back to the receptionist (with my hand placed firmly over my daughter's loose lips), she was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face and amidst her gulps for air, she informed me she was half Vietnamese and thought Kylie's outburst and our parental horror stricken faces were hilarious!!

Floor, please open up and swallow me whole....

Oh the things God uses to humble me in my parenthood!

A Teacher FAILS Thanksgiving!! (Important lessons learned)

My daughter Kylie has been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum.  When we explain our situation to others, we choose to say that our family "experiences Autism".  

Autism may encompass many varied learning barriers.  But, if you know what to look for, know how to adapt and flex your teaching style, you can be very successful in encouraging a child who loves learning.

I had an opportunity to put that theory to practice just this week. 

In my search for November activities that would support my teaching of the First Thanksgiving, I found lovely (and FREE) printables from both here and here (when this second one opens, scroll down to the bottom to find the free printables). 

Let me just say that these gals do such a great job!

I was particularly drawn to a handout at both websites that focused on categorizing things.  Kylie's Speech Therapist, Julie, has been working on this with Kylie and I thought it would be a great way to continue that learning at home.

I printed both handouts, cut them out, laminated them and had everything all ready. 

One of the printables had photos of the Fisher Price Thanksgiving set and I knew Kylie would be really attentive to that as this toy is part of our November Sensory bin.

The purpose of the printable activity was to show Kylie different pictures and have her categorize them by "People" or "Food"

I combined both sets of pictures so she had more to categorize.

I first showed her one of the pictures of food and asked her which side it went on: "People" or "Food"?  Kylie studied the picture and then placed it on "Food"

I offered her a few more food category selections and she categorized them correctly as well.

Feeling confident that she knew the idea behind the game, I then showed her a "People" card and again asked her "Food or People?" 

Kylie looked at the picture, studied the picture and was really trying to decide what to do. 

I could just see the wheels turning in her brain and I was puzzled by her lack of answer.  It was actually painful for me to see her hesitation.

I looked at the picture and (to me) clearly it was a "people" - why was Kylie having such trouble?

...And then it hit me like a ton of bricks! 

Take a closer look at the pictures.  What is each "Person" holding?

They are each holding a FOOD item!!

No wonder Kylie was having such a hard time trying to decide where it went.  It fit BOTH categories.

You see, children who experience Autism or who are on the Autism Spectrum tend to be very literal thinkers.  These children see things that you or I would pass over.  They have very acute vision, hearing and thinking processes. 

These individuals are .... BRILLIANT!!

 I felt badly when I realized that I had set Kylie up with (in her mind) a "trick question."

Rest assured my daughter earned herself an A+ on the activity. 

Did this Mommy pass or fail? 

Well, I failed at the activity but I passed in learning a valuable lesson!

How do I fix this issue?

I need to find pictures of people who aren't holding food!  That should be pretty easy to do!

Note to self:   Remember that Kylie is a very literal thinker. 

Children and Adults who experience Autism have a very difficult time with metaphors and idioms. 

For example:

If you were to say (metaphor) "It's raining Cats and Dogs" they would look for cats and dogs to fall out of the sky.

If you were to say (idiom) "He has a chip on his shoulder" they would look for a Dorito on a man's shoulder

Please take a minute to read this short article by an individual who experiences Autism and what they say are phrases that confuse them.  The comments left by her readers are insightful as well.

Another personal example of this...

When I bathe Kylie and wash her hair, I often tell her to "look to the sky" so I won't get soap or water in her eyes.  She isn't always cooperative, but we manage.

The other day, as I was soaking in the tub, Kylie came into the bathroom and started to "help" me.  She took me by the head and said "look to the sky" but instead of pointing my eyes to the ceiling, she turned my head to the window! 

ding, ding, ding, - another bell went off in my mind!  I need to ask her to look at the ceiling vs look to the sky!  After 5 years, you would think I would know these things!!

I guess it just proves that we all have things to learn and we all need to grow as individuals.  Bless my daughter for loving me even with my shortcomings! 

Hope you all are doing better than I am!!

P.S.  This would be a great article to share with caregivers, teachers, and etc.